Fearless List Making the Diva Way

List Making…

I’m a diva in that department. I’ve got it wired as the list maker from h-e-double-toothpicks.

And yet, in making this particular list I find myself challenged. See, I’ve made this list before… oh somewhere around an eon or so ago. An eon in which I learned many things; most importantly the potent power of list making. See, we live in a “YES!” universe, and what we list, we get.

Proof, you say?

Well then… here ya go… proof coming right up.

About 8 years (and some change) AFTER my divorce, I had an ah-ha moment. That ah-ha moment snuck up on me with the suddenness and power of a cartoon POOOOOWW! Smack dab right in the head – major throbbing bump on the noggin and all. POW – as I lay on my sofa, looking through the pass through window from the living room into the kitchen where my now ex-husband was standing, making breakfast and chatting with me a mile a minute.

Flash back to eon ago and a certain little list I had made. The list of what I desired in a potential mate, a future partner, the togetherness life of my dreams.

Item number 2 on said list: “He is a man, who every morning when he wakes up, will make the choice that where I am is exactly where he chooses to be.” Guess that one got ticked off with a little check mark.

As I lay there, not listening to ex-husband anymore because I was deeply involved in the smack dab I’d just gotten on the noggin, as well as contemplating the major throbbing bump, I went through the eon ago list, line for line in the mental file it had obviously been filed away in. Line for line, I ruminated upon my list, I’ll admit, with ever increasing horror at the power with which I had manifested absolutely everything in it.

Everything. I’d gotten it all!

Please understand, I am not divorced for what is on that list. Nope… that would be too simple. I am divorced for what I left OFF the list. What is that, you say? You did read that right. I’m not divorced for what is on my list that is everything I asked for; rather, I am divorced for one itsy-bitsy-teensy-weensy thing I didn’t put on my list.

Heterosexual.

Sure, go ahead and laugh. It’s just that his sexual preferences, while I was list making eon agos list, seemed to me to be a no-brainer seeing as how I am a heterosexual female and all.

So, as if one lump on the noggin wasn’t enough to get my attention – the universe gave me another.

I, me, myself… yep, I, singlehandedly – had manifested a gay husband. And, thanks to the power of universal information, I now knew exactly how I’d done it. It was all me. I had asked for him – and this being a “YES!” universe and all – I had gotten him.

Flash back to dating pre eons ago list. Tons of first dates, a couple of second dates and even fewer third dates (seems like maybe dating wasn’t something I was terribly talented at). End of dates scenario (each and every date, by the way.. did I mention that little part?): Wrestling match outside my front door with passionate suitor, me entering home, shutting front door, leaning back against front door and shouting, yes, shouting  (totally on an energetic level since I lived with others I was polite enough not to wake up) to the universe, “Can you please, PLEASE, send me someone who does NOT consider me a SEX OBJECT?!”

Ummm… sure, says “YES!” universe. No problem. But, hey, are you sure that’s what you really want? We’ll hang on a little bit to see if you really know just what you’re asking for. We’ll wait around and see if you continue asking for it, okay? Just in case you might want to change your mind.

What do I do? Why continue asking for it, of course. Very loudly. With lots of passion. With crystal clarity. Without let up. Master manifester that I am. And with no “heterosexual” disclaimer on my list to begin with, there was no messing around with my human Free Will as a Stop Sign for the universe in sending him to me. And, lest we forget, this universe does have a sense of humor. Doubt me on that? Then, please have a look at the honker on the Borneo Proboscis.

We do get everything we ask for. And I do mean everything. Every time. Ooops.

Flash to NOW… and the fact that it’s time for me to make a new list. In this eon. For this time frame. For the romantic partnership of my dreams. Fact: It’s time. I mean, unless I desire and chose to go through the rest of my life as a singleton. Don’t get me wrong, I am one of those crazy people who LOVE being single. I adore making my dreams a reality and having total say so in said dreams coming true. I love creating a life that I love living, one creation at a time. I excel at doing what I set myself to doing; whether it’s writing books, creating companies, challenging myself to some public speaking, working with clients, finding new and bigger ways to s-t-r-e-t-c-h myself on a regular basis. However, this non-dunce knows that I am growing ever bigger and evolving in romantic relationship in ways in which I do not outside of romantic relationship. So, time for relationship… which means LIST!

It IS a no-brainer that heterosexual is on this new list. I’ve definitely learned from my past oversight. Blindness cured.

In creating this brand spanking new list, I’ve found myself leaving all fear behind. Fear that won’t find what it is that I truly desire. Fear that what I truly desire will not find me. Fear that what I truly desire might not actually exist. Fear of leaving some little important detail off the list. All sorts of fears are tempted to arise when we truly desire something, but we (each one of us) have the power to overcome our fears… with implanting a new thought about that fear.

My new thought looks a little something like this, “I know what I truly desire exists, because I exist. It really is that simple. I exist to desire him, therefore he exists to be desired.” Hmmm… I do so love the look, sound and feel of THAT! Trust and faith that this universe does know what it is doing and will therefore send me the most perfect of relating experiences for me to have right now. Just like it did with my now ex-husband; who, yes, turned out to be the greatest single relationship I have ever had, encouraging me to grow and evolve in ways I didn’t even see coming and learning, along the way, the very feeling of unconditional love. Trust that this universe has my back – especially when it seems that maybe, just maybe, it might not have – and it turns out that it always did. Which lead me directly to fearlessness in trust and faith in something outside of myself, greater then myself, this universe as a whole.

Fearless list creating… When I shared the first three items on my list with my mentor, her response? “Don’t you have any fear?” I’m laughing as I write this because, apparently, I’ve done a stellar job of removing the energy of fear from my list, given her response to just three little items on it. The same three little qualities I’ll be sharing with all of you in this blog.

Qualities say a lot about an individual. Like energy is drawn, like a moth to a flame, to like energy. The quality of the life we live is in direct correlation to the qualities we grow within us. The quality of the life we live with another is in equal and direct proportion to the qualities each one of us bring into the relating experience we’ll be sharing. So, leaving out the quality of fear, enables us to concentrate on the qualities we truly want, need and desire – in ourselves and others. Here’s just a few of the qualities I desire to call into my life in the form of another human being; a like energy to my own. I’m happy to share this new list (well, three parts of it, anyway) because someday I’ll be sharing its arrival in physical manifestation. We do live in a “YES!” universe after all.

1. He is a powerful sorcerer.   

You know… with the gift, talent and ability to pull from source energy, instantaneously and as frequently as required (which with me, could be pretty darn frequently).

2. He has an exceptionally well disciplined mind.

Having spent a lifetime disciplining my heart, there are a few things I could use to learn about a well disciplined mind. Having spent a lifetime disciplining his mind, there’s a few things he could probably learn about a well disciplined heart. Not to mention, there is that little thing about that wonderful, elegant, ease of a dance between male and female energy.

3. He adores women.

All women, whether they are just coming into this world or getting ready to exit this world, and women in between. And, because he adores them, they adore him right back. Lucky me. Adored and cherished as a special woman in his life – and vice-sersa. Plus, how else is he truly going to understand and relate to my adoration of men, if he’s not gifted with his own adoration of women? Win-win.

Hopefully, in sharing a little of my own journey to this new eons list making, I’ll have been able to in-courage someone else to drop all fear and go full out for what YOU truly desire to bring into physical manifestation in your own life. This is a “YES!” universe, after all – and YOU deserve your hearts deepest desires! Just as I do. We all do. That’s why our heart has deepest desires – so that we will conquer all fear and hesitation and go for the whole enchilada, whatever the enchilada might be.

Yum… enchilada’s. Lunch time!

Taking Doubt Out

Whenever doubt hits, like the nasty little bugger it can sometimes be, I give a shout out to some of my greatest friends. Great Friends play an oh-so-important part in our lives. They remind us that we are all connected in some very deep and powerful ways. They remind us of who we really are. They support us when we feel weak. They shower us with love – and heavy doses of honesty when needed. They put up with our idiosyncrasies, our bad humors (and sometimes, worse jokes), our foolishness when making unhealthy choices and our inability to power through something that we might need powering through.

Great Friends are the gold of life.

Recently I’ve come across an immense and (seemingly) insurmountable mountain of doubt. You know – the “other” four letter word? That steaming pile of dung that arises in the middle of the Happy Road and makes everything stink? Yeah, that doubt.

When the universe showed me where it was asking me to go next, I had a few questions. Questions along the lines of: “Are YOU sure it’s ME you want for this?”, “Are you sure I’m the the right person for this particular job?”, “Can anyone else do it, besides me?” and (here’s the BIGGIE)… “Will I regret it and change everything if I say no?” You know… doubt questions.

When the universe makes things clear to us, it makes them crystal clear. The universe is kind that way. If at first we don’t get it, it tries again – and again – and again… until, eventually, even someone as doubt-full as I am, gets it. Seems to me that some of the universes favorite tools for making sure I get it are my Great Friends. The ones who always tell me the truth (especially when I don’t want to hear it), hold nothing back, have my back and are prepared to fight for my greatness with (and sometimes against) me. I don’t have “yes people” in my life. Nope, I have authentic truth tellers.

That makes me exceptionally blessed. Wholly blessed.

Doubt will always come into play in our human lives. Why? Because we are human. Because we don’t know anything (especially true the more we “think” we know). Because we are fallible. Because we are flesh-suit-wearing imperfection in the most perfect order. Because we are little, and although we might like to try and hide that from ourselves, when looking at the vastness of all that is, we’re reminded of how little we are. Because we are Bigger-than-we-know, and again, looking at the vastness of all that is, we’re reminded of just how big we really are. Because we think, and therefore, we confuse. Because we are simply complicated. For a myriad more reasons, doubt will always come into play in our human lives.

The Greater we aspire to be, the greater the doubt. It’s a given. Those who achieve great things do not achieve it without doubt – they achieve it through doubt. Great peeps encounter great doubt; they navigate through the deepest and murkiest of doubtful waters, climb the highest of doubtful mountains, cross the largest of doubtful deserts to arrive at the pinnacle – the fulfillment of the Greatest of Dreams. Because of, not in spite of, having great doubt.

Correct me if I’m seeing this wrong, but…

Wouldn’t that make doubt our friend?

In the achievement of the Greatest of Dreams, wouldn’t that then make doubt our Great Friend?

WOW. Epiphany. Huge ah-ha. At least it is for me. Doubt is a Great Friend.

Doubt is not an evil enemy, a regurgitative ‘has been’ flash from the past, an egoic re-mind-her of all that has failed before (and will again – another given in this human experience), a Tsunami of hidden agendas within my unconscious mind, or the darkest of imaginings from my little-itty-bitty-ness? Seriously, Doubt is a Great Friend who must accompany me on the road to fulfillment of my Greatest Dreams, joining in with my other Great Friends who assist me along in my greatness? Wow. Kind of changes everything, changing that one way of looking at my Great Friend Doubt. Just like Dr. Dyer says. Smart man, that Dr. Dyer.

So now that the headache I’ve gotten from writing this is subsiding, I think I’ll go call another of my Great Friends and share this little ditty with her. She’s been being accompanied by great Doubt lately, too. Maybe, together, Doubt and I can assist her through to achieving her Greatest Dream as well. Great Friends do stick together, after all. Shout out, or no shout out, Great Friends are always there for one another – walking each other home to their Greatest Dreams fulfilled.

But first, I think I’ll take Doubt out – for an espresso. I’ve earned it, and Doubt and I are way overdue for a good Great Friend chat - Soul to Soul!

"Do Over!"

Have you ever felt as if there is another YOU in you? That the YOU, you really are, is so much bigger, wiser, stronger, lovelier, happier, self-assured, spunkier, outspoken, healthier, wealthier, elegant, graceful, grateful, and so much more… then you currently show up?

That’s because you are human. As a member of the human race you are one of the privileged. YOU have been lovingly conditioned into mediocrity by those who love you the most, have your best interests at heart and think… well, what they’ve been conditioned to think. Their conditioned thinking lovingly gifted to YOU.

However, just because someone believes “A Truth” does not mean it has to become “My Truth”. My truth is subjective, unique… and belongs only to me. Just like your truth. Like a fingerprint it is unique unto YOU and YOU alone.

Not a one of us was born “cookie cutter”. Just look at the process of reproduction. Millions of little swimmers dying (literally) to make their mark upon this world, penetrate the one and only egg that could make that mark a reality, and only ONE gets the medal. The medal of being half of the ONE-and-only-one-YOU that it then becomes. YOU started out this life as a miracle, from the first moment of conception.

We all know this (well, all of us over a certain age, that is)… but… do we FEEL the miracle that we are?

We once did. I knew the miracle I was as a small child. No one could convince me otherwise, either! I was a princess one second, a pirate the next, Glenda the Good Witch another, a famous actress, a fairy, a doctor saving lives, an adventuress, an explorer, a goddess, a singer, a scientist… You get the idea, right? And, I suspect the idea you just got felt very, very familiar. I could scale entire mountains in a single day, slay a few dragons, fight for right, overcome any odds, dance any dance, sing any song, dream any dream, act any part, BE anything I desired… and I did it with passion and flare.

That’s the other YOU in you. The YOU, you once knew. The YOU who can BE anything and everything YOU choose!

Here’s something else I knew back then… If I didn’t like a choice I made, the part didn’t fit, the song didn’t sound the way I wished, the adventure didn’t pan out quite the way I’d planned; well then, I’d simply exclaim “Do over!” Simple really. And – it worked every time! I could Do Over as much as I liked until I found a better fit. Do Over’s were just a small part of my expressing my Greatest Version of ME. Every Do Over brought me to a bigger, better place then I was in before I exclaimed “Do Over!”

No one ever convinced me I couldn’t have a Do Over, either. I would battle like no one’s business for my right to a Do Over, while, at the same time, protecting others rights to a Do Over, too. Fair is fair. If I’m going to claim a Do Over, then others have the same right as I do – to yell “Do Over!” whenever and whatever they wanted a Do Over for. Totally simple.

Totally simple until conditioned adulthood, that is. Adulthood came with different rules; rules that seemed to exclude being a miracle, making dreams come true and Do Overs. Conditioned adulthood came with expectations that I would be more “cookie-cutter” and less miracle, “reasonable goals” instead of “big dreams” and (worst of all) guilt for the mistakes I’d made instead of the beloved Do Overs.

Okay, so what if? What if… Guilt is the unnatural order of things and Do Overs are the natural order of things? What if… we’re not supposed to hang onto the mistakes and learning curves, but, rather, snap our fingers and exclaim: “Do Over!” What if… We’ve been through this process of Do Overs so many times, we have a natural affinity for it as children because we remember it’s a natural process for us? What if… We have so many Do Overs in this lifetime, simply reflecting the Do Overs of all the other lifetimes we’ve already experienced? What if… Do Overs are the only natural course of events and the reason we keep recycling ourselves again and again – in this lifetime and all the others – as a kind of small “mini me do over” of the “BIG Picture Do Over”? What if?

Here’s your chance, your opportunity, your challenge – embrace the Do Over! For whatever you desire a Do Over for. Don’t let anyone tell YOU, you don’t deserve a Do Over either. Also, don’t tell anyone else they don’t have the right to a Do Over. Do Overs are the way in which everyone on this planet reaches their Greatest Version of Self - the YOU that is bigger, wiser, stronger, lovelier, happier, self-assured, spunkier, outspoken, healthier, wealthier, elegant, graceful, grateful, and so much more... then the you who currently shows up.

Soul to Soul – it’s ALL a Do Over, anyway, so YOU might want to fall in Love with the Do Over! You’ve not only been doing it for awhile… you’re going to be doing it for infinity.

THE ENERGY OF WONDER

“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted           
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance..."
I Hope You Dance; Lee Ann Womack

It seems that souls love country music. Each time I set my intention to write this blog, I wake up with the words to a song and a written (off of paper, that is) blog in my head. I’m sensing a pattern here with the country music lyrics. Just to be clear, I am not a country music lover, so that in itself catches my undivided attention. Attention enough to make sure I put it onto paper as accurately, and quickly, as possible. This universe, and especially the souls within it, love speed!

What is it that our individual soul camps desire for us? What is it that they are here to help us accomplish in remembering what we’ve forgotten?

How many times have you, like me, heard that it’s best to be as a small child; that is the path to the kingdom of heaven, the path of the spiritualy enlightened? I know I’ve heard it my entire life, starting from when I, myself, was a small child. Every great teacher this Earth has ever known has talked of this, in one way or another – it’s that important of a message for us humans to get.

And still, we miss the message within the message coming from so many messengers.

Let’s talk about the energy of small children, shall we? Not a particular small child, but children in general… more specifically, their energy. Who doesn’t know about the incredible energy of a small child? It’s legendary – for a reason. Even if you have no children in your life, you’re aware of the energy of a child, it’s that legendary.

It’s the energy that we all are born with. Pure, joyous, trusting, questioning, wondering, exploring, connected to all and resistant to none, flowing with ease through whatever comes along, playful, honest, intense, allowing, forgiving, eager, adventurous, why walk when running is so much more fun and fast?, awe struck with everything because everything is new and fresh energy.

It’s the energy that makes adult work child’s play. Every child learns through play, it’s how we are wired. Mom’s vacuuming? The child is playing at vacuuming; or dusting, laundry, taking out the trash, sweeping the walk, doing the dishes, helping with the cooking and everything else the adult in their life is “working” at. The magic of the energy of a child is this, though; work is PLAY!

It’s the energy that allows a child to sit in wonder at the color and texture of a flower, the beauty of a butterfly, the sparkle of the stars in the sky, the feel of grass under them while they watch a busy ant colony at work, the joy in climbing a tree and seeing things from another perspective. It’s the energy that allows for a million and one questions, with no desire to actually receive a definitive answer. It’s the energy of all the “why” queries without the interest in actually having the why’s answered, before running off to find something else to wonder about.

Wonder; marvel, curiosity, enquire, inquire, admiration, wonderment… Who wouldn’t want that energy?

Many of us adults have given up the childlike energy of wonder, though. We gave it up to knowing; to answers, to surety, to facts, to being learned, to boredom, to apathy, to the desire to be right, to the desire to be “normal” and like everyone else in the adult world, to the desire to be admired by our peers… and to far too many other reasons to write in this simple little blog. We’ve given up wonder to the life of an adult.

It’s the energy within the question that brings wonder into our lives, while the energy of the answers can actually rob us of wonder. We adult humans think we know so much, but do we really? Is what we “think” we know robbing us of all the energy a little child has naturally, the energy from our connection to this universe gifted to us at birth? Are we really better off than the small child, in knowing so much, having so many references for our knowing, having facts to back our knowing right there at our fingertips and available for our use to convince others that we know? Is the energy of knowing so much more powerful and complete then the energy of wonder?

Knowing energy comes with an alarm clock to wake one out of sleep to greet their day each morning, knowing exactly what that particular day holds because you’ve planned it already. The energy of wonder bounces one out of bed, sans alarm clock, with excitement and adrenaline to greet this freshest new day of unlimited potential. The energy of knowing comes with the energy of “work”, then “play” as separate things. The energy of wonder comes with the energy of “work is play”. The energy of knowing comes with the energy of disempowerment, a sense of helplessness when it comes to fulfilling dreams – or maybe even the loss of the ability to dream itself. The energy of wonder comes with the energy of having many dreams and no dream is too big to be fulfilled. Knowing energy comes full-to-the-brim with “have to do’s”, and all the lists that come along with doing what one has to do before doing what one loves to do, as the separate things knowing says they are. Wonder energy comes chock-full-of the energy of “love to do’s”, with no list, and the wonder of loving what you do removing any energy of what one might have to do. These are just a couple of examples in the differences in the energy of knowing versus wonder.

So, here’s the questions we all need to ask ourselves… Where am I missing the opportunity to wonder? Where, in my life, would wonder add value, energy and joy? Where can I bring wonder out to play in my daily life? Where is my wonder; long forgotten and stuck in a closet somewhere – or – do I carry it everywhere with me as the wonder-full friend it is?

Each one of us, individually, has to desire the fullest life experience for ourselves possible. Part of the fullness of Life, lies in the fullness of the energy we are Living Life with. How full is your energy? How full do you desire it to be?

Each of us can make room in our lives for more wonder, and less knowing. Bringing our child out to play, daily, can infuse our lives with an immeasurable amount of joy, fulfillment, happiness, adventure, prosperity, abundance and freedom.

We were born in wonder, to experience wonder as an important part of our human expedition. Our Soul Camps desire for us that we never lose our sense of wonder. That’s their reminder to us today - from Soul to Soul.

Soul to Soul Connection

“Life’s a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don’t worry about what you don’t know
Life’s a dance you learn as you go”
Life’s a Dance – John Michael Montgomery

On this, my first ever blog written especially for Soul to Soul, I desired two things; a celebration of the Soul to Soul connection and an opportunity for the connection itself to have a voice.

I fell asleep with that intention front and center in my mind last night, and woke up to the lyrics of the chorus of this song playing out in my head, as well as this blog completely written – except on paper, that is. My job is simply to get it onto paper.

So many times, as humans, we doubt our connectedness to anything outside of our physical world: what we can see, taste, smell, feel and hear with our five senses. We doubt especially strongly when we are going through times of great stress, fear, loss and challenge. We do this (doubt) because we are human, and as a human we have a little memory lapse problem. We forget where we came from, where we will return to, and who we Really Are. We forget just how incredibly miraculous and magical we Really Are.

However, it’s known we’re going to forget. Before we even begin forgetting, someone somewhere knows we are going to. Usually that someone is us in our perfect soul form, and the somewhere is before our birth as a human on this Earthy plane. So, knowing we are going to forget the truth about ourselves beforehand, we reach out to spirit forms that we love, and who love us, and ask for assistance should the forgetting get larger than the part inside of us that remembers.

That’s where They come in. You see, They never forget what we do. They remember exactly who we Really Are, where we’ve come from and where we will return to. They hold the memories, for us, that we’ve forgotten. They only desire to re-mind us, and help us re-member, the Miraculous Beings we Really Are. They only desire to assist and guide us through our experience of human existence; as a map that remembers what path we desired to create through our life, the adventures we are excited to experience and call it Life, the relationships we chose to help us love and evolve, and the gifts we came to share with all others walking this forgetful path with us. They help and assist you along this journey, comforting you with the knowledge that you need not worry or be concerned about what you don’t know (remember), because they have that part covered on your behalf.

But… who (or what) are They?

They are the beings who make up your individual soul camp. Sheer energy (just as we are) yet unencumbered by a human body-suit and the spirit of human forgetfulness. They are perfect sprit untethered. They don’t care what they are called (being devoid of a human ego regarding identity), They just care that They are called, whenever needed.

Sometimes They appear as Angels (as in Guardian Angels), sometimes a lost loved one, sometimes an ancestor. There are as many different types of spirit guides as there are individuals upon this planet.

They’re also very committed communicators, who will communicate with their human in any way, and through any means, they can find. Music? Yes; that song was in answer to what (who) you wanted to remember, other music moved you to tears in remembering something beautiful that you’ve needed to remember, another song brings you joy and it needed to be heard right now because you need some joy. Written word? Most definitely; the lyrics to a song, the billboard you pass each day, a letter found unexpectedly, a paragraph in a book, a magazine article, a flashing street sign, a bus stop bench. Verbal reminders from people in your life? Uh-huh; the friend who unexpectedly calls you just as you were thinking of them, the boss who tells you a story about his vacation and helps you to remember just how much you once dreamed of travel yourself. You name it, They will use it to communicate with you and help you remember Who You Really Are – and how connected you Really Are.

We live in a supportive, allowing, loving, compassionate universe that is here to assist us, in any way, along the path we chose to take in this life. See, there’s this little thing called free will and all of us have it. It’s our own individual free will that tells the universe “yes, I am ready for a little support and assistance right now”, or “nope, not yet”. That yes or no is what tells your soul camp to move into action on your behalf, or to stand by for a later date and time. Either way, the support is there. Either way, the connection each of us has with the universe, and our soul camps, stands strong. Even if your free will says, “I don’t believe in my soul camp, or that this universe is a loving, benevolent, supporting place for me”, whether you believe it – or not – does not change the position of your soul camp being right there beside you should you ever change your free will. That’s the strength of this connection.  Whether you ever ask – or not –, whether you ever chose to remember – or not -, this universe, and your soul camp, has your back.

That’s the agreement other souls have made with your soul. Soul to Soul.

The Gift of Hate

You did read that right... and there is a gift to be found in hate.

In working with many people on their own spiritual path, I've found one thing to be consistent pretty much across the board. The Human hesitant to acknowledge the need for such a negative emotion as Hate. (Especially the human on a journey to embrace their spiritual SELF completely, wholly and fearlessly. The greater the desire for that spiritual positivity, the greater the hesitation to embrace the negative within and without.)

Need? Am I kidding?!

Nope. Need! For without hatred, how would we be able to "see" or "know" Love? Love needs Hate to be known as Love. Just as Hate needs Love to be known as Hate. Without one, we cannot possibly comprehend the other. Both are necessary for complete understanding of either. We are experiential BEings who own our own experiences fully through experiencing all spectrums of all ranges - hands on, hearts on, vision on, full on. Polar-ized duality. Concentrating on one and ignoring the other, leaves only half the picture seen. Who can truly understand something if only half the picture can be seen? That leaves the other half of the picture remaining in the "dark", un-illuminated, unclear and un-understood.

Okay, so I'm making up a few words here and there - but I really desire to get the meaning (not the grammar) across on this oh-so-important subject.

Since the best (and really - only) experience I can speak from is my own... I'll use what my experience with embracing the aspect of Hate within mySelf has been.

First of all; acknowledging that Hate is an "aspect" of mySelf and not SELF. A very small, but important, part of my Self-ness, Whole-ness and Complete-ness - but still a part, not the totality of. The SELF that I truly am remains exempt from Hate, while at the same time holding space for it. Simple. Complex. It is the way of the spiritual journey.

These various aspects of mySelf are what I picture as puzzle pieces, each one separate from the others but adding up to a picture of the wholeSelf as they each click into place. Talking puzzle pieces with very individual voices and tones - as well as unique pictures and/or costumes printed upon them. But then, that's just how my mind works. Each of us has to find our own way to experience our own truth.

Then I went looking for what "where" I held Hate was trying to tell me. Every aspect within us has a message, if we would only but listen. Instead, most all of us try to press 'ignore', 'mute', 'pause' or 'record' over the these dis-owned aspects of ourSelf and what they are trying to tell us with their messages. Hey, that's just the human in us doing its thing. Let's not forget to acknowledge the Human aspect as well.

Here's the amazing thing that happened when I decided to finally sit down and quietly "listen" to Hate, instead of trying to "shush" it...

Every message that Hate was trying to send me was of Love.

Every time Hate would begin talking it was to show me where, and with how much scope, I Love. In equal and direct proportion to one another. Hate showed up. So did Love. Oftentimes hand-in-hand with one another, to gift me with the following experience.

I will always Hate, Detest and Abhor (all various aspects of mySelf, wearing their many "labels" and costumes) child abuse of any kind. The act of, in any way, abusing a child. No exceptions. I also have a strong desire to see child abuse annihilated on this planet. (I also own the "Annihilate" aspect of mySelf, with its own label and wearing its own costume - as well as the "Judge" aspect, which is what allows me to make a determination of what I deem to be abuse.)

*Note: Here's where aspects of Self get very murky, quick-sandy and challenging. Abuse is also an aspect of, and not the totality of, the abuser. So, while I may Hate the aspect I do not Hate the Self of the one holding the aspect.

I Hate child abuse in equal and direct proportion to...

The scope of how much I Love, Adore, Cherish, Appreciate and Value (again, all aspects of mySelf with their various labels and costumes) children - and their right to be loved, adored, cherished, appreciated and valued simply by virtue of their taking their first breaths. And... finally... THIS is where I focus my attention. THIS is where I put my time, effort, energy, thought, whole heart, will and action. Right HERE. On how much I Love, Adore, Cherish, Appreciate and Value.

Because acknowledging, listening to, and experiencing what our various aspects are showing us does not mean that we have to stay stuck within these aspects. This is where we, each one of us, get to choose "what aspects of mySelf do I listen to the most?" Which aspects get the most air time? Which aspects make up the largest part of mySelf? After all, aspects are just the smallest of puzzle pieces... helping each one of us create the total picture of "Who I Really AM" as we go along. With the light and the dark aspects lending color, shading, dimension and perspective to the work of art we, each of us, are.

Here's to each one fearlessly putting together the Great Puzzle of Who I Really AM!

I'm amazed at how this "simplify" bug works. This is the third time this year, I've gotten it... and about the sixth time in the last twelve months. So far I've given away furniture, dishes, electronics, clothing that I've asked myself while packing away: "I bought this - why?!"... you name it and it's probably been given away or donated. Now I'm at it again.

Which is doubly amazing given the fact I've always gotten rid of something "old" whenever something "new" comes into my home. My entire life, I've done this - and still, there is "too much stuff" going on over here.

Have YOU ever been there - done this? Hit a moment of knowing that "stuff", especially the stuff that has no real meaning to YOU, is just taking up valuable space and consuming your valuable energy to care for it all? Realized that, although you had no plans to do it, somehow you bought into the mass mentality of consumerism? Or (the biggie in my own personal book of experience) held onto stuff from your past - i.e. relationships, family heritage, marriage, friendships - and kept the memory (past) alive each and every time you looked at the stuff that represented it to you? Have you ever wondered, while going through your walk-in closet, if maybe just the size of the closet has been feeding your shoe addiction or causing the notion to appear in your head (seemingly randomly) that said closet NEEDS to be filled? I know I have done all of the above... and more. I'm human enough to admit that I hope I am not alone in having done it.

No more. Na-huh. Done. Stuff is stuff. It has no meaning other the the meaning I assign it.

Stuff does have it's own energy though, such as the "momentos" from my marriage. Out of respect for that energy, if my ex-husband didn't want it... it's gone.

 

I have the ex-husband, why do I need the momentos? *she says, tongue in cheek*

 

It's the same with many other "keepsakes" that I found to be not-so-keepable, stuff I was hanging onto simply because so-and-so gave it to me an eon ago. Then there's the guilt aspect - the "OMGosh, if so-and-so knew I was donating this their feelings would be crushed" kind of guilt.

 

It is simply never ending the "stuff" we get to wade through while wading through the stuff.

And therein lies the joy, my friend. The "stuff" we get to pull out, acknowledge, heal, release - and finally - allow ourselves to let go of! Physically, emotionally, mentally, visually, psychically, spiritually, energetically... Gone!

So maybe it's not the "simplify" bug that I'm dealing with here. Maybe, just maybe, it's the "freedom" bug. Or, maybe they are one and the same bug... just heads and tails of one another in their bugdom.

~ Juli DuBois